As I was laying in bed the other night, I happened to look out the two full-length windows on the other side of the room. I’ve looked out these two windows for a little over a year now, but something was different on this night. There was a glow outside. I had no idea where the light was coming from, but it looked familiar. Reminiscent of something I have seen in the past.
And it struck me. It reminded me of was a directional light on the set of a movie or television show. The frame of the window was hiding the actual source of the light, casting an artificial glow to the background scenery outside the window. Like the two big windows were serving as the glass on a screen, with me on one side and some other world on the other.
Anyone remember the 1998 Jim Carrey movie The Truman Show? If you don’t, here’s the very, very quick synopsis from IMDB: An insurance salesman/adjuster discovers his entire life is actually a TV show. One of the things that happens to show Truman he is the star of a TV show is when a light falls from the perfectly blue “sky”. Hmm…like seeing some strange artificial glow outside your bedroom window?
As with most things that strike me, my mind started going in so many different directions. What if my life were being filmed? What if everyone was watching your every move? What if an entire population knew your secrets, your inner thoughts, your worries, your fears?
Or worse, what if all of this was not real? What if the experiences in your life might not have been genuine? What if the people in your life, the ones you loved and trusted, turned out to be actors? What would you do?
Would you change…you?
While there are certainly things I think the public might not want to see ( ;) ), I don’t regret things in my life. I don’t regret the decisions I’ve made, the actions I’ve taken. I don’t regret the direction it has taken, either.
So, would I change anything?
No.
Not the core of who I am. Not what makes me, well, me. I like who I am. I think others like who I am as well. I wouldn’t need to change me. I wouldn’t want to change me. Everything that is wrapped up in this package defines who I am. How I interact with the world around me. How I interact with the people in my life. Changing that would make me not…me.
Faced with Truman’s discovery and the circumstances derived from that discovery, it would be easy to not trust anything. To think everything was fake. Not real. And maybe nothing is real in that situation.
Except for one thing…I would be real. In my heart, in my soul, and in my mind. At my core.
And that’s what matters.
