The most recent of episode of John Oliver’s “Last Week Tonight” focused on that entity that we Americans know far too well. Home Owner’s Associations (HOAs). And yet, as the segment unfolded, I learned a lot of things I didn’t know and/or didn’t know were possible. Just one of the outrageous things: One lady’s HOA foreclosed on her house because she hadn’t paid the fines on time.
It also brought up (in our household, at least) the power dynamic of our own neighborhood HOA. They are managed by a company who is not present on site. We have a “contact” person that serves as the liaison between our community and the management company. Which, if you watched the segment, you know can be fraught with problems.
Right now, though, the issue at hand in our neighborhood is parking.
You see, parking in our neighborhood is scarce. While we all have two-car garages attached to each house, there are (shocking to some) families who have more cars (on an everyday basis) than two. And that’s not even counting guest parking. (Granted, guest parking is fluid with events and such.) And when the need for extra parking arises, the fight over the public parking spaces comes to the forefront.
On top of that, enter the “social media app for sociopaths” (patent pending), GroupMe. Much like its worse older brother app NextDoor, this app has allowed the people of the neighborhood to “have a voice”. And they exercise that voice. Loud and often. And one would think this would be an important place to hash out the issues of the day as it relates to the neighborhood, and its safety and security.
Nope.
Too often, it’s about who’s parking where. And whose dog pooped on whose lawn. And whose music is too loud. (By the way, the dog poop topic is not about whose dog pooped and the owner didn’t clean it up. No, it’s just that the dog pooped at all, even if the owner cleaned it up perfectly. And don’t even get me started on the numerous “Be respectful. No peeing.” signs scattered throughout the neighborhood.) You get the picture.
Now we get to my household’s conundrum. Brian just turned 16 recently. Caroline is 18 and getting ready to go to college. They each have a car. I have a car. Jayme has a car. That means we have 4 cars. Two fit in our garage. Two do not, and we have to utilize public space parking everyday. So every time someone starts to bitch about parking and how the public parking spaces are always being used, Jayme gets worried and I get incensed.
Side note: The reason I get incensed is that the vast majority of the neighborhood is either older with no kids OR younger parents who have smaller kids (max age around 6 or so). So, the majority of people who get on GroupMe and bitch are the ones who have no eligible drivers at the age they would need a third or fourth car. I simply want to scream at them and ask them to consider what happens in 10 years when ALL of these kids are of driving age, and will have cars. Just like my kids do now. But no, they can’t think that far ahead. Because what would they bitch about if they weren’t inconvenienced now.
Needless to say, these bitch-fests can (and sometimes do) get reported to our HOA liaison, and we’re off to the races with potential regulatory action and possible fines. Knowing what I know now re: HOA and the power they can wield, it really has me worried (and especially Jayme) about what can happen if selfish shitheads rule the day. And we all know how possible that is.
