When I travel for work, there’s a lot of me time. And that normally translates into catching up on my backlog of podcasts. The most recent trip was no exception, and I came across an episode of a podcast that I don’t listen to normally. I’m fairly sure it was an offshoot of another episode I found while perusing Mastodon.
Anyway, it’s a podcast called “Straight Candid”. Self-defined as “an entertainment podcast hosted by two Minneapolis women who have been known to say it how it is and never sugarcoat the truth.”, the particular episode I was listening to was called “OnlyStans, a Successful Open Relationship & The Porn Industry Truths w/ Candice”. It featured a guest named “Candice” (I’m assuming that’s a moniker, but I don’t know), who in her profession is known as “Eva Lovia”. Candice is a former porn star, and now an OnlyFans star. The episode focused on how she and her husband navigate her job (both past and present) and the potential issues it can introduce into their relationship and their family.
It was so refreshingly honest that I wrote it down to talk about (and now I am). Some nuggets of wisdom I took away from the discussion:
- “Relationships an are living, breathing thing…daily.”
- Given what she does, there was a very large discussion on the topic of monogamy, and more importantly, non-monogamy (starts around 1:06:00 of the episode).
- “Our house has to be in order. Our sex and our intimacy has to be at a 10 before we even consider other people. Because you don’t want to neglect your soulmate.”
- “I don’t value sex so much that I would ruin my family over it.”
- Syd and Soph did ask about reasons you would open your marriage and what can come of that decision. One question that jumped out at me (from Candice) that was harsh and probably all too real for lots and lots of people: “…Are you guys both (simply) playing house?” Oof.
- The rules they came up with were interesting: — Degrees of separation (they can’t know the other person) — Not emotionally intimate — Purely physical
Like I said, refreshingly honest. And even at that, I’m sure these words of wisdom are takeaways that they learned the hard way. Good for them for making it through.
